sa-wat dee everyone,
I have longer now in the internet cafe, my last post was at silly o clock at night so didn't want to spend long in a cafe.
Got my camera with me this time so here are some pics of the adventure so far.
So a few things to talk about from the first couple of days here in sunny Thailand (yes, sunny...very hot..how is it at home?)
When we arrived on the 29th, a little tired from the two 6 hour flights and a 3 hour change-over in Dubai, we decided a little Thai massage was in order - only 2.50 in English money (cant find the pound sign on this keyboard) for a half hour full body massage. It was awesome, Craig and I were led to a nice quiet room and were stood on for half hour. It really was nice though, got the head involved as well...they do hit you about a little bit though for apparently no reason...just every now and then they will just punch your leg or your shoulder - don't know whether its to stop you falling asleep or just because you've annoyed them in some way. Came away feeling relaxed (all be it a little distressed from the persistent beatings).
Grabbed some food from a little street-side cafe (by the way, everything is street side here...you can walk down a road, and by the time you've reached the end, you've eaten, had a massage, had fish nibble your toes, had another massage, eaten again, been to a club, watched a dance-off, seen a man with no legs pull himself about on a skate-board whilst playing the harmonica, had another massage, and spent about 3 pounds.) The food was great, had Chicken Pad-Thai which is now my favourite meal, handy as its accessible every three inches of road and costs about 70p. Sprin rolls as well, drenched in the best sweet chilli sauce ever only 20p a pop.
Had a little sleepy in the afternoon, thought we'd do a four hour nap and be fresh for a night out...turned into a 7 hour sleep. oops. But we got up showered and hit the street. Kao san road is where it all kicks off here, most of the bars are 24 hour. So we walked around, having a few beers here and there (and some pad-thai, obviously). The beer here is called Chang, pretty sure ive had it before in England - its really nice and cheap as chips.
Hit the end of the road where a lovely gentleman approached us and said "sex show? ping pong? lady massage, boom boom?" I understood the first couple things he said, but I didnt realise Basil Brush made it big here. (apparently boom boom means you get a massage and they do "everything"...one can only imagine.) So Craig and I looked at eachother, obviously both thinking the same thing 'when in Roooome' We bartered with him and got him down to about 20p each for a return journey in his little Puk Puk ( I think that is the correct spelling, pronounced Took Took though) Its basically a moped with stabilizers. He took us miiiiles away to this ping pong show...I think he'd been playing Road Rash on his Megadrive before he came out, as he was driving like a mentalist; cutting everyone up, missing red lights and blatantly speeding...we got there safe enough though, he walkd us in where we were charged quite a lot to get into this club. We bartered and managed to get 20% off the asking price (still need practice). When we walked in we were given a free drink which was nice of them - nearly choked on it though when the girl in the middle of the room pulled out about 10m of fluorescent rope from her lady-bit and started lassoing it about. The way it worked in this club was that a pretty girl would sit next to you and be all over you..then she'd ask you to buy her a drink, typical. We said no and they left us straight away, love is fickle. I actually just remembered the one i was talking to said she loved me long-time, which is classic. The show continued with some more fluorescent stuff - then bottle opening, balloon popping, letter writing and of course ping pong. There were some unbelievable tekkers on display to be fair, one girl bouncing ping pong balls into a cup with great accuracy, another firing darts at balloons thrown into the air and popping them each and every time. The skill didnt stop there though, oh no...The grand finale was a couple who came on the stage and began to make sweet sweet love. Again, they were showing some epic silks, the guy at one point hoisted himself up on two poles so he was upside down while goin at it with her from behind...crazy. The show ended and a bemused Craig and I headed back with the same bloke and his Puk Puk, felt like I was in a Thai version of Mario-kart.
Went to 'The Club' which happens to be a club. And a really good one at that, good music busy and not too expensive. Had a few buckets of drink in there and left a few hours later.
An Englishman, two French men, a Turk, two Thai's and a Canadian walk into a bar.... I was the Englishman. No idea where Craig had gone but I found myself with all these people drinking at an all night bar. Was awesome as well, all really nice people with good banter. I was pulling out my GCSE French to win over the Parisians, my one word in Turkish to win over the Turk, my English to win over the Thai's and my Terrance and Philip impression to win over the Canadian. The Canadian was telling me about the beer and was saying that it gives you a "Chang-over" I was buzzing, great pun. I taught him the "Mouth is as dry as Ghandi's Flip-flop"...and "hanging like a bat" phrases which he seemed to enjoy...I like to give something back, you know.
Walked home at 7am escorted by some fat Thai bloke who spoke English reasonably well...I was a little worried hed ask for something inappropriate at some point but it turned out he was just a nice chap who went to Oxford and knew someone at Cambridge and just wanted to help me get back to my hotel. All he asked for was a Blow job...only kidding.
Slept from 7am til 10.30pm...brilliant.
Went out again last night for some more Pad-Thai and Chang - not too heavy though as tonight is New years eve so saving the batteries for that. Had our free breakfast this morning as an attempt to sort the body clock out, was nice enough - eggs sausage and toast with a coffee, all free...the sausage was a lovely white cold uncooked frankfurter which i was buzzing about. Other tha that, though, was really nice.
And now Im here, in the cafe with aching fingers from this essay...Ill attach some pics, check the old facebook then head off for some more Pad-Thai.
khorb koon,
Jay x
