This is going to be quite a big blog...
Our last day in Campbell town was spent visiting the Blue mountains (they are called blue mountains because the Eucalyptus gives off a blue haze) Was a nice little day and some pics are on facebook.
So we picked up the Camper (which we named Helen...Hell for short.) After being briefly shown how the appliances worked by a distracted Hungarian, we set off to the supermarket to fill her up.
Entering the supermarket car park, we had to drive up the ramp and round the corner. I was driving. I managed to scrape Helen along the wall. Helen was hurt. She now has a massive scrape on the left hand side, dread to think how much that'll cost.
We stocked up on noodles, beans, bread and rice. Decided to sit and make lunch in the car park, beans on toast...well, I say toast, but I mean fried bread...as we have no toaster. We looked like a right group of Gypo's sat on folding chairs eating beans on fried bread on our laps...all topless. People were driving past looking at us. I was wondering how Id react if I was pulling up at Tesco car-park and saw three topless lads sat by a camper van eating from their laps.
We left the supermarket car park...but not before bumping the roof on a low hanging sign...onto Melbourne, which is over 1000km from Sydney, so itl take a few days with some stop-overs.
Hit the beach in Wollongong for an hour or so...Craig and I went into the sea to body surf, while Chris had a lay down. We got absolutely battered in the sea, the waves were mental.
Headed to Jervis Bay, which was a beautiful place...lovely white sandy beaches, along with shower and toilet facilities. Seemed like it was free as well, so that was a bonus.
It only took us about 45 minutes to work out how to set the beds up. When we finally managed it, we realised that there really isn't much room in Helen. Two have to sleep next to each other, with one sleeping in the roof bit. Im so glad I'm not Claustrophobic.
Day 2
Woke up to find a ticket on our windscreen saying we needed to pay 30 dollars camping fee...lovely.
Sorted that out and had a walk on Murray beach before setting off to Pebble beach.
Craig had absolutely no money, plus he hadnt loaded money onto his cash card as he was waiting for a cheque to clear. Chris and I had been lending him money but we'd run out. We needed internet.
We pulled over at a motel to ask if we could use the internet for five minutes...the woman said that she couldnt get on the internet as it was password protected, but she was heading home and would let us use her internet...unbelievable...I couldn't see that happening in England. Imagine a woman inviting three strange men into her home to use the internet...wouldnt happen.
Her name was Phillipa and she had a pet Pirana.
Got to Pebble beach, which has loads of Kangaroos that go on the sand and sometimes into the sea a little bit. Was an awesome place, and had free BBQ's...we wacked some snags on (sausages, remember) and had hot-dogs with whiskey. The woman who ran the site cam over and was going on about paying, so we headed off.
That night we stayed at a magnificent 4 star motel, called the Comfort Inn...The facilities were second to none, with room service, laundry and a swimming pool...we were in the carpark.
Day 3
After the worst nights sleep ever, we realised it was raining, and it didnt look like it was going to get better. The decision was made to go for a massive drive so that the following day it would only take an hour or so to get to Melbourne.
Drove most of the day before getting to a place called Lake Entrance for dinner. We cooked up some rice and veal and sat on a park bench with a beer. Just as we're tucking in we hear 'hey' coming from behind us..we turned around and I responded "Hey, hows it going?"... he replied with "How do you know me?...why did you just say hey Doug?"
This man clearly had special needs of some sort, possibly Autism, but Im not sure.
This is how the conversation went:
"I like to look cool"
"Ah ok"
"I bought some new shoes, they're velcro"
"ah thats cool"
"I want to be a builder"
"thats a good job"
"I like the uniforms"
"ok"
"Do you wear uniforms?"
"No I dont work at the moment, we're ju-"
"catch you later"
And Big Doug was gone.
Luckily, Craig and Chris just sat trying not to laugh, which meant I had to keep up the sort-of-conversation on my own. Cheers lads.
Drove on til nightfall...Found a little rest type place that had a few caravans in...It was free and had toilets so we decided thats where we'd sleep for the night. The toilet block was disgusting. As you walked into the mens side, a big spray painted piece of graffiti read: "REAL MEN EAT COCK" ... do they?
There was also a needle bin. Whenever there is a bin specifically designed to stored used needles, you know there are, or have been heroin addicts popping about. fantastic.
We managed to survive the night, despite our growing fears of being raped, murdered or both. Also, the threat of accidentally standing on a used needle was high. Luckily nothing bad happened.
Day 4
We hadnt showered for over 24 hours, nor had we charged our phones.
The aim was to find a proper camp site and use all their facilities, before speeding off without paying any fees. Managed to find a caravan site/golf course. Hooked up the camper to the electricity supply and got the phones charged. I wandered over to the golf club and found a big changing room with toilets and hot showers...jackpot, ding ding.
While packing the camper, ready to hit the road, a guy came over. We thought, 'oh here we go' . I took the lead and immediately started a conversation about the weather and how it was perfect for a round of golf. This got him going. He never mentioned paying any fee's, but he did break the news about Japan. Its the first we'd heard of it. Chris had just come from there, so it was a bit weird.
I think so far, there's been over 3 big natural disasters since I left England. Not to mention all the floods.
We finally made it to Melbourne, but we had literally no idea where to go, or where to keep the camper. Drove around for a while and found a little car park by an Aussie Rules pitch. There were no toilets, or showers or anything.
It was a Saturday, so we thought it would be rude not to go out.
After drinking a few beers and whiskeys in the camper we headed into town on the tram. Went into one place for a drink then attempted to get into a place called rats. We were denied. The old rule of 'not being allowed in if you have a penis' is in place here.
After another rejection, we ended up in a place called "Sorry Grandma", it was only 20 dollars to get in, and 8 dollars a beer...so...value.
Day 5
When you wake up with a massive headache, and you need a wee like never before, and when you've just slept for 4 hours in a hot, cramped van with two other men, you dont feel so pretty.
Thankfully, Tom, who we met while tubing in Laos lives by a beach near Melbourne. He invited us to stay over.
So thats where we are now, lounging around in his living room, watching step brothers on the TV...They have a games room with a ping pong table. This house is basically a blokes paradise.
We're having a beach day tomorrow, so hopefully the surf will be up.
Well this has taken a long time to write...and im still hanging from last night so its time to get off the net.
Will write again soon x
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